Why you are fat and still sad panda about it
Updated: Apr 22, 2019
In such a sensitive climate of our current society, it is almost appalling to a few who would read this and see the word fat mentioned in the open. But let’s just shut the fuck up for a minute and calm down.
I'm not a wizard
Every day I am in an environment working with others to a better, healthier, and more fit life, but by the beard of Zeus no matter how much they lose or how great they look, they are still "fat." You know the kind of fat you have to grab the shit out of it and show it to everyone just so you don't sound so fucking crazy. Yeah that kind of fat.
Ok so let’s break it down as to why you are still fat - you don't care enough. Really that’s the simple answer. No trainer or coach, myself included, can wield and throw glitter from the skinny fairy on you and if I could you bet your ass I would be on a yacht somewhere engaging in some illicit behavior for all to judge me as I raised my middle finger with a smile. However, this article is not about my life goals and dreams, but rather about why you are a sad panda.
Now stop for one minute and close your eyes. Picture a panda. They are so fucking cute and cuddly kind of like a Gizmo on steroids. Ever seen one sad? Jesus, they are pathetic and you just want to grab them, hold them tight, and gently pet them telling them everything is going to be ok.
Except, you are not cute and cuddly. In fact, you are probably some hideous monster, or that is what you tell yourself and others? Fact is most people are not as fat as they believe they are or as out of shape as they convince others they are. Oh, the matrix that is self-image, but let’s save that one for a later article, if I manage to not be hunted down and burned at the stake for being so offensively truthful.
The truth shall set you free...um wait, truth? Truth with myself? Fuck that. I like the white lies and so do we all. Even if it is just tiny and white, it’s just a sliver of dishonesty that will not hurt anyone, least of all me. I mean that is what we all tell ourselves. Let me use getting fat and out of shape as an example. First, it always starts with just a few pounds. Then before you know it a few years go by of you eating like an asshole and you are fat. Holy shit you hit a panic mode and commit, 100% hardcore in the paint commit to a baby Jesus in a manger you are going to get that hot body of yours back. Except, it’s been a few years and things are not quite the same.
Things are going along great, then out of nowhere the results slow down and then bam they stop dead.
You drop a few pounds and that fire is lit even more than a fraternity dude on a Saturday night. Then a few more pounds and suddenly people are complimenting you and asking you for the “secret.” This is when the fire is cranking hot like a 16-year-old couple in a car, scorch the earth kind of heat! Things are going along great then out of nowhere the results slow down and then bam they stop dead. The dreaded bastard that is known as a plateau has arrived. What the fuck do you do now Maverick? You throw fat burners and all sorts of hopeful shit at the problem rather than reassess your behaviors and your habits. You gain a little traction and wham, back to nothing. At this point, you are frustrated and say fuck it. I have worked damn hard for this body and all I have done, I need a reward for all this. And you reward yourself by eating like an asshole yet again. That is when for most the backwards slide begins.
The way to success in the body you want is understanding the give and take the journey will be. It is understanding that you have to have the discipline to get things done for yourself. It comes with the commitment to yourself to quit letting yourself down – others do that enough day in and day out. You are sick and tired of that shit, aren’t you? I know I am. Dealing with the frustration that comes from trying to get into optimal health and physical shape can be overwhelming at times. The one common trend I have seen is those that get out of the rut or conquer the dreaded plateau are those who do not go around admonishing how fat they still are or whatever other diarrhea of the mouth might come. But rather they get back to work, day in and day out, making shit happen for themselves.
The same rules for you being successful in life and your job, applies to diet and exercise. You must consistently work at it to get where you want to in that screwed up head of yours.
Quit trying to suffocate your social media circle or friends, or your animals with wailings to the ice wall of how fat you are – no one is listening and odds are someone else is on the same journey you are and doesn’t see it the same way as you do, you selfish asshole. The first step to getting the results you want is telling yourself the truth then shutting the fuck up and executing. There is no secret beyond that. The same rules for you being successful in life and your job, applies to diet and exercise. You must consistently work at it to get where you want to in that screwed up head of yours. Even still working at it is going to screw with your mind – that’s why it is an imperfect journey. The key to success in diet and exercise is shared with the common theme that is life’s greatest truths of the successful– it all comes down to how bad you want it. Well how bad do you, you sad panda you?